An Interview About My Leadership Coaching: What The Hell Am I Doing On TV?

Leadership Lesson: It’s important to realize and understand your evolution to date, while at the same time sharing your growth, lessons, and message with others.

What the hell am I doing on TV? An introvert on camera, sharing what i apparently hadn’t shared with others in the past, and yet not being as a passionate as I should be.

Let me back up a step and provide some context.

Recently, I was lucky enough to sit down with Veronica Garcia, out of WGBY in Springfield, Massachusetts, for a segment of the show Connecting Point. In the segment, I covered how I got into leadership coaching, how it helps clients, and, most importantly, what it means for me.

It was a short segment, so I wasn’t going to be stealing the limelight from any soap opera stars or TV show hosts, but it was enough time for me to share a message of what I see in leadership coaching.

Take a look below.

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I’ve gotten great and supportive responses and feedback from sharing the segment with friends, family, and on social media.

In addition to that positive feedback, the interview was also enough, it seems, to prompt some questions from people I know, both those who have known me for a long time and those who have known me a relatively short period of time.

Here are three themes that have come up in the most interesting of responses and questions:

  • I never would have thought you’d go on TV, especially since you say you’re an introvert.
  • I’ve never seen the qualities you demonstrated in the interview in the environments we’ve worked in together.
  • I only wish your true passion for leadership and coaching would have come through more.

These are great. They help me take into account what others are thinking and seeing and what I can clarify and explain. This is just one example of how so much of what is lost in our personal, business, and work worlds is forfeited to miscommunication, or even complete lack of communication.

But as I always say: Everything is a learning experience. Right? Even the recording of the segment and people’s reactions to it have both taught me — and demonstrated — some lessons.

Let me break them down below based on those responses above.

I never would have thought you’d go on TV, especially since you say you’re an introvert.

I’ve gotten this one before, especially when it comes to speaking engagements. How could someone who claims to have been a lifelong introvert go up on stage or in front of a camera to speak?

There’s so much to this one. Too much to unpack here.

But, in essence, introversion isn’t shyness. Yes, they can overlap in some instances. God knows I was shy way back when. But, introversion is more about energy. An introvert gets more energy and refuels by being alone or in (what they consider) the right environment, whereas an extrovert typically gets energy by being in a more energy-exerting and interactive environment.

So, although I am still somewhat of an introvert — I tend to be an ambivert now — it’s comes down to energy and where I get it.

And I get that energy and drive from my work as a leadership coach and helping people.

Yes, it takes some energy to get all that information out there and share that much about myself on camera, but, truly, when you’re doing the best thing for you – the right thing when it comes to your work – it doesn’t feel like you’re using any energy. You’re just letting flow who you are, what you want, and what you can do.

The Lesson: When you’re doing what you’re meant to be doing, you don’t have to work at authenticity. Who you are just comes through.

I’ve never seen the qualities you demonstrated in the interview in other environments we’ve worked in together.

This one has to do with when it is we see people’s true skills.

People told me they had never seen those attributes, those words, or that emotion in the interview in other areas or workplaces. They went on to say that side of me had been unfamiliar to them, but that they learned a lot about me and my work in that segment.

Now, keep in mind, when it comes down to it, their question has to do more specifically with environments where I wasn’t working in my leadership coach capacity.

So, there’s your answer.

This kind of builds off of my first response above. Aside from leadership coaching being my calling – hence, why I could step up for a TV interview — only certain environments and work will have me utilize my best skills and energy. So, I’m not necessarily utilizing them in other areas. Therefore, those people never saw what really pumps me up and gets me going.

The Lesson: Are you considering the true calling – what drives the best energy out of those around you and yourself – in your various environments, whether at work or during personal time? Sometimes, the work people are carrying out is the facade to make it through the day yet doesn’t tap into as much energy as that person could possibly and truly be capable of.

I only wish your true passion for leadership and coaching would have come through more.

This one came to me from a client. And, actually, it was the client I had worked with right before I left for the studio to tape the interview.

Her response wasn’t too surprising as I do get more energetic in sessions with clients. I guess the interview I saw as a question-and-answer situation, so maybe I was more focused on that as opposed to jumping up and down on the chair all Tom Cruise-like with the true energy and passion I have for leadership coaching and development.

(Or, maybe I didn’t want to get carried away, where the program would have had a sh!tty, over-the-top interview, and I would have gotten the bill for a broken studio chair.)

The Lesson: There’s always time to reassess the past and refine going forward. Hopefully, there will be more media platforms where I can be interviewed by others. I got this one under my belt, the first on TV in which I discuss my leadership coaching and my journey to — and in — it.

There were nerves before being on TV for the first time. It’s always also like that before giving a presentation, or speaking. And the nerves usually go away with the first few words I speak.

Even though I felt I was completely myself in this interview, I’m aware that I can bring even more of who I am to my communication style, while avoiding the Tom Cruise passion-driven couch-jumping.

That’s my own specific lesson to learn.

And none of this is to say this is the right, or ultimate, way to combat fear or expression or passion.

This was just me. My experience.

In coaching, the coach isn’t supposed to use him- or herself as an example, because it means at some point he or she was thinking about how the situation compares to his or her own experiences and, therefore, not fully listening to the client.

But in this conversation here, between us — yes, this is conversation enough for me if you’re reacting to what I’m saying and thinking about your own circumstances and experiences — you and I aren’t in a coaching agreement, contract, or session. I’m just one person giving his example and account of how he experiences things.

By hearing about others’ experiences, we can look at our own and find similarities, hopefully allowing us to find what might drive us forward and motivate us to our best.

I’m not claiming to be a specialist. I just like sharing my story when its possible, permissible, and responsible. There is nothing wrong, at the right moment and time, to say This is what I’ve done, this has worked for me. It’s not saying This is what I’ve done, so you should do that. It means more This is what I’ve done, just another example and option that’s out there.

You shouldn’t emulate my process, but speculate about what it might take for you to do something in your life maybe people don’t expect of you – or which you don’t expect of yourself.

Related: Developing Your Leadership Is About Speculation, Not Emulation

Too often, we don’t share experiences enough.

But more and more, I’m finding that when people hear about the experiences of others, they begin a deeper self-reflection. Whether the situation applies to work or life, they feel they’re not as isolated when they see someone else has gone through something similar. It opens up possibilities.

So, never dismiss any advice or stories outright.

Pick and choose what advice might apply to you.

Now, what are you all about?

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