If You Dismiss Your Needs Too Quickly, You May Be Leaving Money On The Table
Consider yourself first. Support yourself first. Trust yourself first.
All of these pieces of advice might sound selfish, but they ring true from the standpoint that one has to take care of oneself in order to give the strongest effort to both build their best life and impact others in the greatest possible way.
Sometimes we lose sight of ourselves. It’s as if we only focus on what we can physically see–which is everything and everyone else we come across. It’s as if we don’t notice that we exist until we look in the mirror at the start of, sporadically throughout, and at the end of, each day.
Too easily, we can get in the habit of reacting to everything around us, neither thinking of matters for ourselves nor for others in a strategic, aware, and considerate way. Self-awareness serves both ourselves and others. But to begin effectively the focus, first and foremost, needs to be on the self-awareness of oneself.
Based on everything we take in–seeing everyone else’s lives playing out in front of us–it might be counterintuitive to believe that to do best for the world you have to first do the most for yourself. But it’s true. If you don’t have the strength, belief, and confidence in yourself, your abilities, and what you can provide, then you’re not putting your best energy forward, the energy that will benefit everyone around you the most. This is because the focus on the self here is not about self-reward, but more self-effort and being proactive with true focus and resolve.
Don’t defeat yourself before you’ve even gotten a chance to see what you can truly do through putting that best energy forward.
One admirable mention of this has been actress Jennifer Lawrence’s ongoing open and honest conversation about compensation in Hollywood, which was recently mentioned as part of a recent NPR interview.
Granted, there are more forces undeniably at play, allowing for the pay disparity to manifest and burgeon in Hollywood, but something interesting she referred to was her own belief that part of the unfair treatment might be due to some women having allowed themselves to buy into the belief that they shouldn’t ask for more pay, referring to it as “self-bias.”
This is powerful because that confession, of sorts, is more an exception rather than a rule, that one might admit that their own biases and self-doubt might have contributed to the limitations experienced, in addition to other external forces.
Don’t feed into insecurities and self-doubt. Yes, this is easier said than done, but it’s those ill-conceived notions that make you fearful, which then turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Before you self-sabotage, seek out a mentor or talk it through with a confidant or your support system.
Keep all this in mind: Think it out first. Believe in yourself first. Trust yourself first.
So…What About You?
- How much might have you held back in the past? Why? What were the implications?
- How might have you lost out by not trusting yourself? What could you have changed?
- How have you learned to trust yourself and your instincts? Do you see the benefit of that ability?